update
Haven't posted in about a month...
I'm safe and still living at my parents' house. I know I'll be able to have my own place again, but it's not my time, yet. I've accepted I need to relax and enjoy my family instead of stressing that I need to find somewhere else to live. They want me here and want me to start living for myself again. I've been putting pressure on myself to have everything I used to, but I had to make changes. I can't beat myself up any longer for leaving a bad situation that would get worse.
Confession time...I had a couple of setbacks by seeing my ex a couple of times just for the physical need. I left a couple of messages over the weekend, but he never called back. My first thoughts were...something's wrong. Then I decided no, nothing's changed. I was putting myself out there when convenient for him, but that's not working for me. Guess I wanted to prove something to myself. I proved to myself I need no contact.
So, I begin again... The focus is back on me.