silent treatment can hurt
I can say that I have just been in a short relationship with a guy who would call when he felt like it, and then not call for a while. He'd even say he'd call later or take me out that night and then not call at all until the next day or night. Always some excuse. It would hurt me like hell. When we did talk and see each other he was so adoring and acting very serious and close. That made the quiet spells even more harsh.
In my case I found it not healthy for me. I have the 'obsessive thought' problem of some codependents, and I'd find myself obsessing over why he hadn't called. Reliving the most recent conversations in my mind to find a clue. Lingering by the phone, not making other plans. Feeling very insecure about everything. All because he didn't feel like calling or seeing me after he asked if he could, and he didn't care how that made me feel. I was at his mercy.
This was not good for my recovery.
I think it is very mean to be silent when you know someone else wants to hear from you. So finally I started checking his favorite bar when I hadn't heard from him and yes indeed, his truck was in the parking lot. Once I confirmed this twice, I could face the truth. He'd be there and not want to call or see me at that time, I wasn't the priority. And the selfishness of that is unacceptable to me. I left him a voicemail about my opinion on how mean 'not calling when he says he will' is, and that ended it. I haven't heard from him since, and I'm glad.
My point in this ramble is that the strength we have found and our new focus on loving ourselves has to extend to our not letting people treat us in ways that we find hurtful. Period.