Shawn, first off, CONGRATS on your COURAGE!
I drank and used until 44, over 25 yrs.
My 20+ yr marriage was strained, and eventually lost.
I can relate.
Thru AA, and a sponsor, working the steps, and now learning to apply them in my life, I have grown tremendously. It;' STILL a process, NOT an event.
Yes, the hard part is sitting back, being tolerant, patient and showing how YOUR behavior is changing.
It takes time........and, most alcoholics I know, expect those around us to notice right away.
In my experience, it does to work that way.
If all I do is keep MY side of the street clean, I know I'm doing my part.
Stick around, and suggest you get a sponsor, take direction and be coachable immediately.
Tom