In my group the friendships are deep - but they are program related. We come from many backgrounds and socio-economic levels and cultures and ethnic backgrounds... but the commonality that draws us to the meetings is our relationship with alcoholism/addiction.
In my group, we started an outside group that focuses on Traditions - and we opened it to all programs, but limited it to women only. Too many women could not share deeply in the presence of men, and did not feel safe doing so.
But as an outside group, we meet monthly at different homes. We did a step study, using the Paths to Recovery book, a regular Tradition study, using Paths to Recovery, a Traditions in Relationships study using a book called the same (Mary Pearl, Arkansas), and have started again with Traditions, using the Mary Pearl book AND Alanon, How It Works.
I've been attending these studies for two years and feel they have advanced my program more than my weekly meetings. In addition, many of these same girls have attended conferences - which also tightens those bonds.
We share phone numbers and make calls to one another... Alanon related.
That is a lot of emotional sharing between folks who don't otherwise have very much in common... to the point that I think we are the closest of friends.... but we don't necessarily go to the movies together.
For some of us, these are the only friends we have... and for now, that is far more than we've had before.
Are there many men in your Alanon group? Would they be willing to gather outside a meeting to walk through a step study or book study for 12 weeks or even once or twice a month? Can you invite men from some of the other programs? AA, EA, OA? Each of us brings a unique perspective, but many of us share some incredible commonalities.
I wish you the best, Ken.