Blizzard, he'd never want you to think he was miserable....would he? Like was said, Men often can keep the stiff upper lip for sure. You'll feel bad, but soon you'll allow those thoughts of the bad times to enter and take the place of the feelings of loss you are having now. We are an impatient species, and want to feel better right now, but we must go thru the tough to heal and sort out the "stuff"...