((((blizzard))))
I suppose you have conditioned yourself into thinking if he is miserable that somehow it will make you feel better. I don't really see how anything he is could make you feel. The feelings you are feeling are inside of you and although it may seem that he is making you feel he is not you are making yourself feel what you feel. I wonder if you really properly grieved over the loss of your first H before getting involved with this guy?
I have been divorced twice and it was very painful both times and for me in someways it seemed worse than them dying because they went on living without me. But then oneday I came to realize how much of my precious energy and life I was wasting resenting their being able to move on with out me. It was like a light finially turned on in my head and I could see how my attitude was making my life crap not them it was me all me.
Life is inside of you and all around you. I guess it will take you sometime to grieve this loss and I hope you do grieve well so you can move forward and not simply be trying to replace what you have lost with another person place or thing.
You could be "stuck" in some phase of your grief with each one of your losses. There are stages to grief I would like to suggest an exercise for you:
Know the phases of grief which are as follows:
1.Denial
2.Anger
3.Bargining
4.depression
5.acceptance
Think about your losses and ask yourself about each phase of grief and try to determine where you are in grieving each of your losses.
Now I could be wrong but from what I have read of your situation it seems like you have gone straight into the anger phase of grieving your present H's departure. Perhaps you have already gone thru the "denial" phase of this loss before you started posting about it. Maybe first off you told yourself if he does one more thing he's gone and then you started denying it but, when he told you he lost his job boom you were jumping into the anger phase.
I hate typing and I am tired if you want me to continue with this I will but, I am going to wait for a response from you before I type more...