Blizz, he may "sound" good and he may feel like garbage. Men, as a rule, are better at having a "stiff upper lip" than women. Not always, but they can usually suck it up and pull it off pretty well.
He wasn't even there with you when he was in the same house. You have lost a comforting presence, but the man you love left you a long time ago. I've been through this before and I'm about to go through it again. We all hurt the same, more or less, but we all have our own timeline for recovering. I don't know how many Al-anon meetings there are in your area, but when I finally walk out of here I'll be practically living in meetings just to keep my wits about me.
Listen, I'm on Pacific Time, so if it's 1 a.m. back East, it's only 10 p.m. here. PM me if you want my phone number so we can talk. I'll lend an ear if that will help.