hello and welcome to SR. id just like to let you know that ive been right where you are now. i know how it is to feel hopeless. youve taken a very important step in the right direction by comeing here. what your feeling now is only temporary. it helped me to post here and read. there are alot of wonderful caring people here at SR who can help. i would post and ask questions and read and share and before i knew it had helped me get out of self so to speak. im an addict and alcoholic so i started attending NA and AA meetings in my area and that along with SR has really changed my life for the better. PLEASE dont give up, it will get better, it takes work but it does get better, and it didnt take very long for me to feel the difference. I WILL PRAY FOR YOU, but you hang in there and keep posting and sharing. if you take the advice of those here like i have it wont be long and you will feel better!! GOD BLESS YOU AND YOU ARE IN MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS. if you want you can IM me just to talk, i'll listen all night if need be.