It has taken me YEARS to come to terms with the fact that I need recovery.... for the longest time, I felt so bitter about that.... why should *I* need a program when *his* behavior is the problem??? (Never mind that I went out of one alcoholic relationship right into an alcoholic marriage... ahem....)
I'm finally to a place where I realize that recovery is definitely something I need -- whether or not this marriage survives. I see so clearly where my familial dynamics set me up to walk right into this marriage blindly.... and now I am ready to work to get free of that. I didn't come from an alcoholic family, but I did come from one where the love and sanity were intermittent and unpredictable, and my mother was largely unavailable a good portion of the time, very blaming, etc. So, of course I ended up in a marriage that replicated that dynamic perfectly. Sigh.