I had a discussion with my therapist about some of this yesterday. She said there is such a disconnect between the reality of what the addict is suffering and the picture they present to the world. It can be hard sometimes to wrap my head around it all (now that I'm seeing AH a few times due to court matters) - the arrogance, anger, etc. on the outside, but understanding the disease and knowing the suffering that is going on in the inside.
It's sad.