I have a problem with the whole "throwing it back" idea. A few things come to mind....
Say what you mean and mean what you say.
and
We teach people how to treat us.
So, with that thought in mind, if you choose to turn it back on him, then you're choosing to say some awful, ugly things back to your husband. Is that really how you feel? If so, then why stay? And, if you lower yourself to his level, that just shows him that you're okay with talking to each other with such disrespect.
Some things that I used when my husband got ugly were, "You may be right" or "I never knew you felt that way, so I will have to give that some thought." Mind you, those phrases were meant to be said WITHOUT attitude. If I was severely ticked off, I chose to say nothing at all and just walked away. It was hard, but it saved me from going insane.
Take what you like, and leave the rest.
-Shannon