I hope today is better for you sweetie....
Remember that he is your DOC.... your in detox hon... hurts like heck I know.
But as soon as your are stable from detox you can go to summer camp (rehab/Al-anon) and start to work though it and cry all over the place.... soon there will come a day when the fog starts to lift and you will find some balance......
Then you start recovery. Let it hurt, cry all you need. It will get better and we are here to hold you till it does.