I've not read either book, but they sound really interesting, might have a look on amazon later.
In response to the question. I've found that if I allow myself to take the bait and get into an argument with him it worsens.
If I argue back then he's got something to retaliate against and he just doesn't shut up...goes on and on and on....
If I use the "I'm not speaking to you about anything when you're drunk" or "Don;t speak to me when you're drunk" then I get the "you never listen"..."you always think you're right"..."you're incapable of listening to anything"...."there's no talking to you"...."you're so high and mighty"....
And when they're drunk there is no reasoning with them, there's no logic in place, they don't realise that they sound completely idiotic, that they're unapproachable etc...they think WE are the fools.
I agree with Pick A Name, the easiest thing to do is to leave the room, go to bed, go for a drive...remove yourself from the situation. Why waste your energy in arguing with someone who is incapable of reason, logic, common sense....and who won't even remember it tomorrow.
You'll probably end up in tears because of the frustration and he'll still think everything he says is right....pointless exercise.