HolyQow wrote:
I am dealing more with the memory lapses currently. He drinks, He doesn't remember and I have to re-live every conversation of the previous day. I am not sure how far your AH has progressed, but there is a chance that he doesn't even remember the abusive stuff said. The day after some of our arguements, my AH used to say that he "doesn't want to talk about it" "it's done" "straightened it all out before" blah blah blah. I have now realized that he says these things because he CAN'T REMEMBER what the arguement was about or anything that was said.
This is so true, i spend everyday reminding him of what it is that he sd the day , the week before. I just recently have gotten to the point where i look at him and with the straightest, most none emotional look and i say" Never mind it's not worth the breath i waste". It took me a long time to even think that verbal slamming was a form of abuse, i mean at least he did not hit me like my first husband. I have come to relize that in some ways the verbal is worse, most of the time no one but me knows. Which makes me look like i am a real bi?#h, because there always seems to be someone around when i lash back the next day when he is not drunk. I know this may sound sick but at least when i got hit there was a bruise or mark and people understood my source of pain.
Good news is that as i have gotten older most days i could care less what others think.
Both books are great reading and they made me feel like i could identify, and what a feeling that is ................. just identifying...........