Originally Posted by lizzy girl
My question is for those of you that have responded to the abuse by saying: Stop that, Cut that out, stop talking to me like that, just a few of Evans suggestions, did it help or make things worse? I have just started to throw it back at him, and yes I am afraid of the retaliation that could occur. Up until now, I have just taken it. Any advise?
I did do that from time to time (still do...well,just state the truth but not try to make him "believe it" anymore...that is better IMHO) "Results"? haha.....AH blamed me for not "being supportive",etc.,etc.and moved out. He recently divorced me. Did me telling him I would discuss things later when we could both talk in a respectful manner,etc REALLY have much if anything to do with that....I doubt it. Alcoholics like to blame their alcoholic bad behavior on others and he got angrier when I wouldn't take the blame. It helped me,though.
If I feared he might turn physical,etc I found it best not to say anything at all and just try to remove myself from the situation. In fact; I preferred to do that most of the time. It is pointless and a waste of MY energy to argue or discuss anything with a person who has been drinking. Chances are good he would not remember it anyhow...or at least remember it factually.
I do feel like he has a little more respect for me again now that I do not allow myself to be bullied by him,but that may be partly because he knows that the dynamics in our relationship have changed (partly because of the divorce). (Before anyone asks why we have any "relationship"...we have two children.)
Do what is best for you. Good luck.