I liked both books, too, especially Lundys. In my case, it made no difference and over the years I became less sure of myself to even give it back. I had started to believe the crap he told me I was.
If you're afraid, I wouldn't bother. If he doesn't see it as a problem and try to get help for himself, nothing will change.
I'm sorry I put up with it for so long, but I'm happy I'm finally away from it.
Take care.