Dom

Here I am again. I still need help, I am still suffering, but I believe I can make today a new beginning. I think about my family here on SR a lot, but it's so hard to get the courage to post. I feel so overwhelmed by thoughts I could only get about 3 hours of sleep tonight, and I lay here "sick" in bed when I should be at work being productive.

I think that anti-depressants help with the minor things each day (I was on lexapro but because of side effects it was switched to Cymbalta), but when big things happen, I lose control of my mind, thoughts overcome me, and I can't stop them.

The big thing that happened yesterday, was that I proposed to Kate, in Central Park, and she said yes. Why can't I be as happy as her? She is the most amazing person, and I love her very much. Sometimes I don't think I'm happy at all.

I want to stop taking anti-depressants, because I still feel side effects, (I'll be honest and say that the major side effect is sexual.). And I feel they do not help when I really need them to help.

Sorry for yet another ramble.