Painful Surrender
Hi Everyone,
I first posted to this site in July. My first attempt at sobriety. I made it 101 days and then I relapsed (Friday the 13th, how appropriate). It was one of those planned relapses, unwilling to admit that I was/am powerless. I tried to do some controlled drinking and guess what - I couldnt. I had myself convinced that I could. I laid out all my conditions. I'm STILL resisting admitting it. I dont want to admit that I can never sit on the patio and sip a glass of wine like regular people. I dont want to admit that without alcohol I cant let go and be myself. Anyone else have that problem? Does it ever get easier? How do you learn to live without it? I havent been to an AA meeting - more resistance I guess. There just something so final about walking in the door.