Hello,
Well, amazingly, I am still sober. Sometimes it surprized me! I got up early this morning so I can make it to the noon meeting. I've been kinda...well, I don't know. Just kinda off yesterday. I haven't been to a meeting since Friday and I know I need one. Yesterday Dave's friends came over and they were talking about how trashed they got the night before and I just had to get up and leave the room. They kept bringing up alcohol too. It's kinda odd because other people when they talk about it it doesn't really bother me. But it's like going sober here, I've been getting back to my "roots" persay with my activities and they have jilted back to the "nerdy" side of me that I used to have in jr. high. Well, Dave's friends are supposed to be nerdy. They are supposed to be what I'm trying to become. I mean, they come over and talk about starting up a game of Dungeons n' Dragons...how much nerdier can you get?
Not that I mind...I mean, I think it sounds like fun. I used to play D n' D with my brother when I was like 7-8 but my mom took it away because she heard that it would possess us and the devil would take over our body. My homelife was abit crazy. So, I guess when they left I was just in that mood where I was like...not that I wanted to drink but just getting down about not being able to. Just like, why do I have to be an alcoholic? Why can't I just drink a few like everyone else? It was just kinda bothering me. I mean, I'm allergic to cholcolate ya know? Don't take everything away from me! So....no chocolate, no alcohol. Sigh...life certainly doesn't make it easy. Yeah, so I was just kinda in a funk. I didn't want to go to meetings even though I know i need to, I was just like...why can't I just sit here and like...watch a movie at 8pm instead? I don't know....I was just kinda in a funk...I still am I guess. I'll be at that meeting in an hour, not because I want to but because I know I need to. I could tell I was going downhill and had sort of a paniced feeling inside me. I'm not in a good place right now and I need to get out of it. Thanks....