I too have been told I am cold hearted or rough around the edges. I have no clue how to get close to people. Intimacy is my biggest problem. I find it very difficult to be vunerable and actually feel uncomfortable when people I know love me, hug me or tell me they love me. I can't say those 3 words back, well with my therapists help I was able for the first time in 28yrs tell my step mother I loved her. It always bothered me that I never did but I just couldn't get the words to come out of my mouth.
What am I so afraid of, really? I lost my dad at a very young age and I used to tell him and he me that I/we loved eachother. Never, did my mother utter these words to me until she was on her death bed. The word love was taboo in my home.
Maybe I'm afraid if I let people get to close they will leave. Maybe I'm afraid people will find out that the strong, self-reliant person they have seen me to be is not really who I am. I don't want ANYONE to know how weak I feel on the inside. It's all a big lie I tell to myself and portray to those around me. This issue is a tough one for me to tackle. Thanks for letting me share and thank you for the topic, it's something I struggle with everyday.