Guess I pushed things too hard, wanted to meet a lady and so I did only to discover that its not that simple in recovery and that I did not want to be with her. It has brought up so many things from how my "relationships" when I was drinking. Basically they where disgusting. I accpeted anything I was offered.
So its good to know I have choices now but awful to live through what I did and put up with all those years. My self worth was -trillions.
I am wandering around feeling flat and struggling. I will not force issues again. I was doing well facing issues as they came up and moving forward.
Now I am immersed in pain and loathing by my own hand.
Kevin