Thankyou for your advice. I have been torturing myself mentally for years, and then also my past has. I do get the nightmares and I am not sure yet what triggers them, but I am going too go find a therapist as suggested.
It is nice too know, I am not alone in my struggles. It occurred to me, that the more I feel like I am being my mother or being treated like my mother in my relationships, the more these intrusive obsessive thoughts surface.
But at least i finally want to do something about them and knowing Someone doesnt think these toughts are rational really helps me out and make me feel more confident about dealing with them
Thankyou so much