I started detaching. Went to Alanon meetings, began doing things that focused on myself and my children. I asked tons of questions here but didn't feel like I was actually getting it.
Well, on March 18th at about 9:00 pm, I look at my 8 year old daugther and said "if daddy isn't home in 15 minutes I am throwing out his dinner'' (yes! I actually used to save his dinner for him until he came home. and I even warmed it up - what an idiot!)
Well, 5 minutes later he walked in. Drunk beyond belief and beaten to a pulp.
It was kind of odd. But I believe that my detaching was helping me to protect myself. I just got very lucky that soon after I decided to try it, he 'hit his rock bottom' and things have completely changed.
What ever you do. You must think about yourself first. I think that is the primary root to detaching. STOP worrying about him and his feelings and take care of yourself.
NoDoubt