Do you go to therapy about this? Group therapy would probably help you a lot. We all have our phobias and probably fear of intimacy is the biggest and most common. You've made a good start by recognizing that your phobias are getting in the way of your having a good life. So now you can begin to deal with them. I've also had some bad things happen to me and I've chosen (over time and the 12 Step program) to become willing to let go of these fears. Once you become willing.. the rest takes care of itself.
I wish you the same experience.. look for some outside help!
