To hope is to be real, it is what we do when our hopes are dashed that can be our downfall.
You make a good point about the relationship with the children, the innocence of that parental relationship is gone. My children had a difficult time in their ability re establish an new relationship with their father, espeically as they became adults. Unfortunatley my 2 youngest want nothing to do with him and my daughter who is 23 is going in that direction. He is still drinking and they cannot handle him at any level.
Best to you, you are a great father and human being.