Hey CA-
You asked for opinions, and I'll give you mine. Let me start by telling you that I am an alcoholic, and I can really relate to the stuff you've been writing. I especially relate to the desire to become a moderate drinker.
Only you can figure out whats right for you. If you want to avoid binge drinking, remember that your resistance will be down after a couple of drinks. Drinking affects decsion making. Having booze in your system will impair you judgment, and it might be easier to make bad choices about how much is too much. Having 2 or 3 drinks might be alright 9 out of 10 times. If you find that you go over your limit sometimes, you may want to consider abstinence.
Now here's something you might not want to hear.....
"Normal" or "social" drinkers don't have to count their drinks. They don't have to make a consious effort to stop at a certain limit. "Normal" or "social" drinkers don't have to ask the questions which you are asking. True "moderate drinkers" don't have to make an effort to be moderate drinkers. Moreover, these people certainly don't need to post on SR!!
You said that you "had a huge problem". In medical history, there has never been an example of someone who "had a huge problem", go back to light or moderate drinking. You can't turn a pickle back into a cucumber. The idea that one can LEARN how to drink moderatly is the great obsession of every alcoholic.
It just sounds like you don't feel ready to quit drinking yet. I'd be the last person to condemn you for that. I didn't quit untill I was ready. Keep posting, and keep working on finding a solution that works for you.
One more thing....
Alcoholism is a disease which tells it's victims that they are ok. This addiction affects the way we think, and our thinking will ALWAYS find ways to justify drinking. If you have an alcohol problem, then your addiciton is trying to convince you to keep drinking.:beerchug:
Again, I'll stress that I'm not preaching at you. I'm just giving you an opinion because you asked for it. My opinion is that you probably have an alcohol problem. You might need to do more drinking and research on your own patterns to figure out the undeniable truth: Alcoholics cannot drink at all, or they are screwed.
chip