Constant - hi there and welcome back hun. My AXH did soooo many of the same kind of things to our 3 kids before he finally took up with a meth whXre in July 05, and left us for good. When I think back at all the abuse I allowed to happen to me and the kids just because I felt trapped by his paycheck...it wasn't worth it at all, not at all. Especially when they all became teenagers..now that was probably the hardest time of all because when they become this particular age they know he's drunk and are embarrassed by his actions. My son used to make fun of him in front of his friends and hit him up for big bucks when he was drunk. But in reality - my son was doing this as a defense mechanism so he could just deal with the reality of it all. And yes he did become violent with the kids for the same reason that yours did. My son pierced his ear and my husband called him every name in the book and tried to rip out of his ear. Thank the lord my son was driving age and left the scene immediately. My kids were always calling me at work and the code was "How sooon can you be home mom?" This mean't that he's causing big trouble and I needed to hit the road. The problem was I worked over an hour from home so all the way home I had to wonder what the heck was going on. I, like you was addicted to the chaos and crisis. And when he left I had no idea how to deal with the calm and serenity....it scared me for a long long long time. Now its been 14 months and I'm still hurting but recovering every day. 2 of the 3 kids are out on their own and I wonder how much more stable the 3 of them would've been if they truly had a strong mother instead of the one that merely enabled her AH all those years. 22 years honey - if you have the strength do it for them if not for yourself. Remember - kids are what they see. How sad it all is. This disease is just awful. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Keep coming back ok we are all here for you girl.
Janit