[QUOTE=TexasGirl]He keeps calling me, leaving voicemails swearing he's changed, but I guess the proof is in the pudding. I feel a little twinge of guilt, but not enough to turn around. I can tell he's really not drinking for now, but how many times did I post that he said he was quitting, and I was wondering if he was serious??? You must remember all of those!!!
He keeps saying, "But I never thought you would actually leave me!
Hi TexasGirl....
Thanks for your posts. I'm new and in a similar place. Reading your posts is really helping me.
Moving out and standing on my own two feet has been the hardest thing I've ever done. It's so hard for me right now not to give in to his phone calls and emails. It breaks my heart every time he calls and I hear the hurt and despair in his voice. My first instinct is put him back together and make everything better. I mean that has been my primary function (which I have resented) for so many years. Then I remind myself how hurt I was every time he didn't fullfill his end of the bargain, how many times my giving in left me feeling robbed, and how many times he has left me crying and in pain.
All I know to do right now is to keep the focus where it belongs.... on me getting better!!! I'm taking care of myself for a change. I'm just getting started and it sure feels strange, but I know it's what I need.