From my own experience, the food was overwhelming, and definantly was not in the mood to eat when I lost my loved one, even flowers became a burden, they kept coming and coming, I felt as if I lived in the cemetary home. The one gift I did appreciate was the tiny live rose plant someone sent. I planted it and it's still growing outside. The best help I had was around the house, because I did not feel like doing anything. The cards were wonderful, and I still pull them out occasionally and read them.