Hey there easeful, and I understand about guessing at normal, been there done that.
Originally Posted by Easeful
... I'm just a little perplexed. Haven't these "normal" people had a death in their own families? Don't they know that that bucket of chicken or layer cake adds stress to an already stressful time? No room in the refrig., now I have to write another thank-you card, I have to return the plate, I can't eat a mouthful, my ______ is dead and now I have the guilt of throwing away enough food to feed have the county. I honestly feel like I'll be adding to the family's burden. ...
The way it's supposed to work is you bring the food along with a bunch of other compassionate people. Everybody divides the housework that hasn't been done because the immediate family has been too busy mourning, or just plain too busy. If the yard needs mowing somebody does that, if bathrooms need scrubbing somebody does that, and so on. The objective is to show love thru _action_, the action of helping with the household.
Once the house is sparkling clean everybody sits down and eats the food, like a potluck. When the eating is done the left over food is packed and stored in the fridge, the immediate family does _no_ work. Dishes are washed and put away and any food that won't fit in the fridge is carted away. The tupperware's are _left_ there as a gift, and you tell the bereaved in no uncertain terms that thank you cards are not necessary cuz it's _you_ that are thanking them for the opportunity to be of service.
Yes, it takes awhile to get a "feel" for what a normal life is, but once you catch on that most of it is about making other people's life less onerous it all starts to make sense
Mike
