Guessing at what's normal
GingerM mentioned yesterday taking the list of characteristics to her therapist as things to work on. I appreciate that idea and it prompted me to look at the list from a new perspective.
On the one about "acoa's guess at what's normal behavior"....
A very distant family member died yesterday. This morning my husband asked me about fixing something (food) to take to the family. I could have smacked myself in the head. Yes, for this area/community this is normal behavior. It never even occurred to me.
And now that it has been presented to me and I see that it is what the "normal" people think of and do immediately, I'm just a little perplexed. Haven't these "normal" people had a death in their own families? Don't they know that that bucket of chicken or layer cake adds stress to an already stressful time? No room in the refrig., now I have to write another thank-you card, I have to return the plate, I can't eat a mouthful, my ______ is dead and now I have the guilt of throwing away enough food to feed have the county. I honestly feel like I'll be adding to the family's burden. And I know that if I express this to my h or anyone else, they'll stare at me blankly and wonder what's wrong with me.
Can anyone relate?