Sorry for not posting. I feel overwhelmed, by my own thoughts. I have this site as a "favorite" in my web browser, and even scrolling over it causes me anxiety. I'm really trying, but I feel like I can't control it.
I'm still seeing my therapist, and it looks like I may add a psychiatrist in the near future. I have an appointment on Tuesday with my primary care doctor, for anxiety and maybe a checkup. I feel now, that medication is necessary for me. Sometimes I just drive myself crazy!
Last meeting with my therapist he quoted the author Mark Twain: "I've worried about a lot of things in my life, many are not true."
He said I have an amazing imagination, but it's effecting me negatively.
He said I worry about 200 things a day, and only 1 is true. The bad part is, the things I worry about, I don't think I'll ever know. Do my bosses really like me? What do they really think when they see me? They're all 40+, and I'll be just 24 on the 14th of September. My job and bosses are just 1 of the many things I think about on a daily basis.
No one seems to understand the impact of my anxiety except for my therapist. I try to talk to loved ones, but they have anxiety of their own, and I don't want them to think I'm crazy. I've told my friends, but they just say "Wow."
Some mornings at work, when I'm working alone, I feel trapped inside my car. A 5 hour breakfast break comes to mind.
The things I worry about, are true in my mind, but may or may not be true to others. I feel like I only browse the forum here when I'm feeling healthy, or getting better. When I'm feeling down or getting worse, browsing this site just makes me feel guilty.
When a hard time comes up, like a meeting with my bosses, I feel so nervous it makes me sick. Once that hard time passes, I wipe my forehead of the sweat, feel relaxed for 5 minutes, and then it seems like all that anxiety transfers to something else.
Now I am anxious for Tuesday, my doctors appointment. I just want things to go smoothly, get some medication so I can try it out and hopefully all this anxiety will go away!