Originally posted by chrissy
I have wanted to leave him so many times, but I just can't give up on our marriage that easily - I am a fighter.
Chrissy:
You are probably not going to believe this, but you can NOT fight this. In fact, if you try to fight this (like I did) you will make things worse. He'll see you trying to control his life, he'll feel guilty for drinking, and then turn on you to relieve his guilt.
Read the book "Getting them sober" by Toby Drews. The title of the book is misleading -- the book will actually explain to you, how to keep his addiction from ruining YOUR life. The author chose the title "Getting Them Sober", because the BEST way to encourage an alcoholic to get help is to let the consequences of the drinking fall on THEIR shoulders, not yours.
Another excellent book is "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie. It'll help you recognize how living with an addict is affecting your life and what to do to make yourself better.
I understand that you don't want to "give up" on your marriage. But it takes 2 to make a marriage work. He has to do his share of the lifting. You can't do his share for him.