How true it is! I was so silly, mine told me he was an alcoholic and I just thought no problem, so stop drinking. I had NO idea. And early signs of the abuse I thought was the alcohol which I knew I did not understand and as you said spent way too much time trying to understand and solve. Much more than he...he spent his time controlling me. Even when I thought I was in control, I wasn't!
I recently talked with him and have off and on as friends from the past and I don't wonder why he tells these things...what amazes me is that he believes them and no reality check in the world can shake it.
I think Ngaire answered it for me....he believes it because he has to....to survive. That makes sense to me.
just my 2 cents..
live