I can relate and my story is kind of like Ruby's, I have low self-esteem which I believe is one of the reasons I started drinking in the first place, I was a quiet child but outgrew that, but even though deep down I know I am smart and pretty, I was still insecure and lacking in confidence and drinking turned me into the person I thought I wanted to be like, confident, outgoing, etc. or so I thought and now that I am sober (25 days) I believe I like myself better then when I was drinking.