Boy I hope I can keep this one brief! My self esteem issues are what I think caused me to start drinking all the way back in high school. And I'm sure the main reason I was still drinking all these years later. I have never felt smart enough, pretty enough, thin enough, successful enough...you get my drift! Liquor made me think I was all of those things. (Except for being thin...) I now look at pictures taken at parties and such and whoa nellie...I look like an ugly drunken slob! And smart?? Who am I kidding? Who really wants to sit at a bar listening to a drunk slurringly sound off on global warming? I don't know anything about global warming!!!
My point is...I drank to be someone I wasn't. Looking back, I cringe at what I became with each cocktail. I'm still insecure. I still have no self confidence. But I am a little smarter these days because I know I won't find those things in the bottom of a bottle. My whole purpose in getting and staying sober is to like myself. Once that happens, everything else will fall in to place. I hope.