I dont like my past either, and that "cool guy" just has to deal with all those peoples sh&t thats around him so dont look up to him to much.
Find yourself, create a new you, the new school you, dont be affraid to say hi to new people you may just make a friend if you do.
It sounds easy but i know its hard, i am trying to reintroduce myself as the sober me and i hope people like me and if they dont oh well, i like me finally.
I like you, i like you cause you had the courage to admit your insecurities and show how vunerable you are (we all are).
So hello my new friend my name is Krys and It is damn good to meet you.