Hi Visionary and welcome
Glad you're here.
It is so painful to remember the alcoholic the way they were before the disease took over. It's painful to watch them slowly kill themselves with alcohol. I'm sorry you have to experience that pain.
Did you want to start a new thread so people can get to know you?
What has helped me has been Al-Anon, individual therapy, learning everything I could about the disease - you can start with the stickys at the top of the forum - and coming here to SR. I also attend open AA meetings. In my area, there are a few Al-Anon meetings that are specifically tailored to parents. You might want to look into that. You don't have to be alone in this.
Please keep posting - glad you are here.