Fisher
I think the "not knowing" can be the worst of all this. The thing is that she is either ready to take her recovery seriously, or she is not. If she is...detox is a good start and they can help her get back into a program. If she is not...all you help and love won't change anything and will drive you crazy.
You are not repsonsible for her addiction, not are you responsible for her recovery. Don't feel guilty or as if YOU need to do anything. She knows where help is, if she wants it.
I'm sending hugs and prayers that you both will be safe.