Thank you Anne Marie! Tonight was good, another emotionally draining 45 minutes with my therapist. He suggested that I find a psychiatrist in my area, or talk to my primary care doctor. When I told my GF about the possibility of taking medication, I could tell she was 100% against it. She thinks that I do not need them, that she "too gets anxiety but gets through it". So I tried to explain to her how my anxiety is consuming my life and is greatly effecting my job performance. I hope she will support me, I do not want to keep anything from her ever again.
Today was another day of consequences for me, my boss called me and said "Hey Dom, looks like August is a great month for you, 1st you got a raise, and now your finally getting a work van!"
Then I had to tell my boss about losing my license, and not being able to drive a commercial vehicle with a restricted license. After that conversation I felt like I wanted to pull my hair out. But tonight, still trying to stay positive, thinking about the future, 13 months from now when I'll have the opportunity to get a work van once again...