I've learned I can find any journal, scientific study, religious book, secular tenet, etc. to back up any point I want to make. The nice thing about my recovery is I have so very few points I want to make any more. Except the most important one: make the best life for myself because as far as I can prove this is the only one I get.
My education and learning has gotten me to a place where I believe the best I should/can/would/try to do is observe my own life, my own experience living with alcoholism and base my decisions for my life on that.
I loved my AH with all my heart. He is an addict who has not yet chosen sobriety. I made a choice. Everyone has them.