Hi OnceNice...
I probably care as much for your posts as you do for mine...
I've read your posts before, and have posted in return a few times. I do know that feeling of being "less than" and I get a feeling you have some of that going on with you today.
Perhaps rather than posting in Newcomers, it is time for you to try venturing out into some of the other forums. You have some days of sobriety under your belt, don't you? In that case, you have something to offer... something others can turn to when they ask, "how does this work?" "can I really do this deal" "are you sure?"... you can post what has worked for you.
One of the best things *I've* ever picked up around the tables is that the feeling of being "not quite quite good enough...." or that of "not belonging" or feeling "part of".... is TYPICAL for those of us who use drugs or alcohol.
Hell, that WAS the answer alcohol gave me! Without it, I've had to find other answers. For me, they have been there... but it means giving up my victim status (for me, THAT has been a difficult and ongoing battle) and trying to accept the truth when others hand it to me.
I am good enough.
And that IS the truth.
I wish you well.