equus

YEP!! You got me in one!! I actually found it a very peaceful process, far less painful than trying to make a belief in god match reality around me.

Once I stopped trying to MAKE things fit what I wanted (which by the way I never got!) there was a period of doubt that slowly drifted away from faith. I think the final death knoll to my time as a believer was a documentary on a genetic condition where victims blister in response to touch - most (at that time) dying in early childhood. I think it was the ultimate cruelty to not be able to have a hug through pain, or eat or drink without pain. In terms of genes I could understand and accept - nature is lovely, beautiful but not moral, nature can be cruel but not with intent, consciousness or desire. In terms of a governing force it was simply the last straw, on it's own possibley it would have had less affect but these pieces of evidence weren't isolated and belief in a cruel god seemed utterly ludicrous.

I think I was about 19, I've never really looked back. In the first years I was wary of getting caught up in religion and returning to painfully trying to make life fit, but over time that faded and now I'm quite curious about ancient texts and religions. It's simply become less and less of an issue, where as LIFE, MY LIFE, learning and being has grown and thrived.

I'm 35 now, I enjoy whatever ideas I want, love the freedom to chose, adore secular reasoning, have affection for some very religious people, and am still very much an aitheist!