Sunshine -
I found out that no matter how I approached his drinking and awful behaviour when he was drinking - things turned out bad. So I would wait to talk to him the next morning when he couldn't possiby be drunk and he would listen (sometimes) or ask me politely to stop nagging him.
I too had thought about a counselor and went once by myself. She suggested that he come with me to the 2nd meeting. But fortunately he hit his rock bottom at that moment (it actually was awfull - but a good thing too).
I think that this disease makes it impossible for them to admit to themselves and others that they even have a problem. If they begin to admit it to themselves then they just do what they can do to avoid having to face it (drink until it goes away?).
I would continue with the counseling. But, I would do it together. It's worth trying. If you don't try it you probably will keep wondering if you missed an important opportunity.
Good luck.
NoDoubt