(((((((Sunshine))))))
Been there!
Our situation was a little different. We both went together to our first session, and then went back separate later. But I think a lot of the same thing will go on for you.
I would come home from counselling after the counsellor would tell me I was doing just fine. Actually, our counsellor said my husband was manic-depressive (and probably self-medicating for that), obsessive compulsive, either an alcoholic or a severe alcohol abuser, controlling, out of control, a narcissist, etc. He told me that unless he was willing to quit drinking and go on medication, things probably wouldn't change. He gave me the name of an attorney. He cautioned me to not let the fact that we were well-off be the reason for staying. This is a Christian counsellor, who didn't believe in divorce. That was when our marriage was at it's worst.
Then my husband would go in, and come home saying he hoped the counsellor had told me all the things I needed to change--acting like he was an angel.
I finally talked to my counsellor about it, and he said that he couldn't share all of his feelings about my husband's problems with him right off the bat, because he would put a shield up, and not open up to him. He could not point a finger at him, or he might never come back. So, what he did was draw him out, see what his thoughts were. He told me it is very hard on someone with these problems to admit they might be part of the problem, and they have to show it to them, not just tell them. It can be a very slow process. Right now, all the counsellor has probably done was tried to make him feel good about himself and develop a commaraderie with him.
Probably the reason why your husband got on the defensive, is because he did feel he had to admit some things, and opened himself up, and now he's dealing with ego issues. He will now feel he has to put more blame on you, so he feels better. That's what "they" do.
My husband finally decided our counsellor was a liar and that he knew more than the counsellor. So he wouldn't let us go back to him.
Just know, that it will get better--trust me. The first time is the hardest. The best thing about the counselling is that you will feel better about you.
Hugs,
Lyn