I can't tell you what to do but I can tell you this. In my experience, I reached a lever of awareness, where you seem to be. I started being unable to accept the behavior, the drunkenness, etc. He'd be good for a while and when I say a while, I mean months. I was full of self doubt. When it would finally happen, the incident, it was always worse on me than before. I think it's because I was more aware, I was slowly out of denial. Therefore, I felt worse about myself the "next time." But, I stayed for way too many next times.