Katy, i'm reading this and it could be my story during the years between college and marriage. in my case, drinking "helped" my creativity--"helped" me to be contemplative. "all" the fabulous, "all" the creative, "all" the intellectual people that I knew drank--some to excess. isn't that always the case? "all" great artists, writers etc. drink. right? i was just like that. i wanted to be like them. yikes, the things i told myself! ...and at the time i truly believed.
took 10 years to begin to think i might have a problem. another 5 before i knew. to this day, i've never had dt's nor wanted a drink in the morning, but occasionally, i would drink to blackout. not often. but it happened more and more frequently. i also lied to myself about my drinking. the whole point is: i realized that once i took a drink, i couldn't predict what would happen--would i keep drinking or stop after one or two? i simply didn't know and couldn't find a pattern. eureka. i'm an alcoholic. oh joy.
alcoholism is progressive. you will see in time--in YOUR time--what your situation is. we can't answer that for you. only YOU will know. i read the posts in your other thread and it looks like the conversation got a little off-track and for that it's a shame. there are a lot of good people here with a lot of collective wisdom and a lot of love. keep coming back.