I am not sure what a vfw is but I am thinking that you drink there. Things can get better, I know the feeling of waking up and wondering about what the hell I just did the night before. What a relief it is to have that monkey off my back.
I accepted that I could never control alcohol, that for me it was a poison that affected me badly, just took me over. I just wasn't able to drink at all, no first drink. It was never the 10th drink that did it to me, it was always the first, that was the one that led to the next 20 or whatever it was until I passed out. As long as I don't have the first drink I am ok.
AA recommends that you think about each day as it happens, just stay sober for today.
peace and love,
Brigid