Back again
I'm back again, I've been high for pretty much seven days now. Starting in the afternoon, and then on and off all the way up until bed time. I'm tired of operating at 70% all the time. I'm not as effective at work, my progress towards controlling my anger went out the window, and I'm just not as capable and alert, which is getting old.
The big hurdle is that I bought a vaporizer and don't know what to do with it. It's a really small model about the size of a pill bottle, it cost 80 dollars which is kind of a lot. In the past I've thrown out all my pipes, but this thing was so expensive, I don't really want to keep it around but that price is just hovering over my head when I think about tossing it, what a waste, what an irresponsible purchase. What was I thinking? Surely I knew this day would come, how could I have let such a short sighted and impulsive purchase slip past my reasoning? The stash is all gone, that was easy to flush, but I just can't get rid of this thing. I've been here long enough to know that people will say sobriety is more important than 80 dollars, but the guilt over it is pretty heavy and I could use some help in dealing with that.