Originally Posted by
helpme33 
When I started hearing the word 'codependant' years ago I wasn't sure I understood or believed what it meant. Even Dr. Phil has said he doesn't believe people are codependant.
When I was finally fed up with my 34yo going on 2yo immature, selfish, support me till the day one of us dies, AS I started really paying attention and reading about codependence and enabling.
YES I BELIEVE!
Once I was aware of what I was doing and made an effort to change my behavior it has impacted other areas of my life.
I no longer feel like I have to solve other people's problems, I can listen without offering advise, and I find it easier to say no, I am more honest with myself and others.
It is amazing how we let other people treat us because we feel we must be 'nice' at all times. Enablers (me) are people pleasers that allow themselves (me) to be used as door mats.
Realising, and trying to control, my enabling has given me more confidence in myself and I am much happier. I am worth the effort for me to have a good life!
Great post, helpme!! You sound like you're in such a good place, and I look forward to the day when I can join you there!
So funny, in my first appointment with my therapist, I mentioned that I thought I '
might be' codependent (haha!!), and he said, "Ya know, I don't like the word 'codependent.' I think it's more appropriate to use the word 'doormat'." And I was like, WOW!!
